Cousin relationships

How about "Cousin Jack (or whatever his first name is)"? Or drop the "Cousin" and simply use his first name? In our family we are quite relaxed about the younger generation simply calling us by our first names. As my nephews and niece and the offspring of my first cousins reached adulthood it seemed appropriate for them to drop the courtesy title and use our names. Similarly when our sons married we invited our daughters-in-law to call us by our first names, and when the grandchildren came along everyone called me Grandma Susan. Our younger daughter-in-law is Burmese and her mother was mildly shocked at her daughter calling us by our first names, as in Burmese culture this implies lack of respect. Now that they have produced a grandson my Burmese daughter-in-law can call me Grandma Susan without displeasing her mother.

 

In genealogical terms they are first cousins - no two ways about it. In the past I daresay they might have called him Uncle John, further in the past he would have been Cousin John, and nowadays I guess just John.

 

A recent 100th birthday party for someone in my husband's family got me reflecting on cousin relationships. As a child I remember having a couple of first cousins once removed (and frequently drove my father up the wall by referring to them as 2nd cousins!) but I have only come across more distant cousins since starting family history research. I have now made contact with numerous 4th and 5th cousins, occasional 2nd and 3rd cousins and some very distant cousins - 10th & beyond.

However, at this 100th birthday party we met one of the birthday girl's great grandchildren who we already knew had the same first name (Annabel) as our granddaughter, and a quick calculation made us realise that the two Annabel's are 4th cousins.

Our granddaughter was not actually at the party, and is still too young to appreciate what a cousin is, but it made me wonder if now that people are living longer, meeting up with more distant cousins on family occasions will become increasingly common.

 

Have to give that some thought Margery because I recall my niece -a daughter my sister had later in life (with a third husband) - and with older siblings from her mother's other marriages, relates in much the same way as you relate.