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The Kiss of Death

Discussion in 'Comments on the latest newsletter' started by At home in NZ, Dec 11, 2020.

  1. At home in NZ

    At home in NZ Guest

    On examining the marriage register in the newsletter, I see Maria's father's last name is not Death it is Langham, yet Maria is described as a spinster.
    Susan who drew attention to this marriage may know why Maria's name does not match her father's.
     
    At home in NZ, Dec 11, 2020
    #1
  2. peter

    peter Administrator Staff Member

    I imagine William was her stepfather.
     
    peter, Dec 12, 2020
    #2
  3. At home in NZ

    At home in NZ Guest

    So did I but it would be nice to know.
     
    At home in NZ, Dec 12, 2020
    #3
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Susan48

    Susan48 LostCousins Superstar

    Maria's father, Joseph Death, died in 1847, was buried on 1 Jan 1848. William Langham was her maternal grandfather, not her stepfather. Both he and her mother, Eliza Death, were witnesses to the marriage. I was wondering how unusual it was for a grandfather to be named in place of a deceased father in a marriage register - I hadn't come across it before.
     
    Susan48, Dec 12, 2020
    #4
    • Agree Agree x 1
  5. Pauline

    Pauline LostCousins Megastar

    I have come across it a few times, when the person getting married was illegitimate and trying to avoid appearing so.
     
    Pauline, Dec 12, 2020
    #5
    • Thanks! Thanks! x 1
  6. peter

    peter Administrator Staff Member

    My guess is that when the vicar asked "father's name?" it was the mother who responded - Maria's elder sister Eliza gave the correct name when she married in 1853, although her father was already dead in 1851 (the mother may not have been present at Eliza's wedding - she certainly wasn't a witness). These sorts of errors are more common in early birth registrations, as the curt question "mother's maiden name?" is ambiguous.
    That's not necessarily the reason - many illegitimate children were brought up by their grandparents, and may not have known they were adopted. I read this week of a daughter who wasn't allowed to marry because the adoptive parents were worried that her intended husband, because of his profession, would discover that she was adopted.
     
    peter, Dec 12, 2020
    #6
  7. Pauline

    Pauline LostCousins Megastar

    Yes, I completely agree. However, with the marriages I was thinking of here I happen to know this wasn't the case.
     
    Pauline, Dec 12, 2020
    #7
  8. peter

    peter Administrator Staff Member

    Given the scope for confusion, and the fact that there are many cases where genuine mistakes were made, it must surely be difficult to know for certain what someone's motive was? Just because the facts are consistent with a particular hypothesis doesn't necessarily meant that it is true - sometimes there is more than one possible solution.

    Of course, if the individual concerned has also knocked 10 years off their age, it doesn't do much for their credibility....
     
    peter, Dec 12, 2020
    #8
  9. Helen7

    Helen7 LostCousins Superstar

    I also have an illegitimate relative who named her maternal grandfather as her father on her marriage certificate. She wasn't brought up by her grandparents, as her mother married when she was a young child and she grew up living with her mother and stepfather some miles away from her grandparents. However, she doesn't appear to have had a daughterly relationship with her stepfather. On the 1851 census, aged 8, her relationship with him is given as 'Daughter in Law' and under Occupation, it has 'Wife's Illegitimate Child', which I find quite sad. Not surprisingly, by the following census, she had left home to work as a live-in housemaid in another town.
     
    Helen7, Dec 12, 2020
    #9
  10. At home in NZ

    At home in NZ Guest

    i agree, and I think it was very cruel.
     
    At home in NZ, Dec 12, 2020
    #10
    • Agree Agree x 2

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