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Finding my Living Cousin

Discussion in 'Meeting my 'lost cousin'' started by Bob Spiers, Jul 10, 2013.

  1. Bob Spiers

    Bob Spiers LostCousins Superstar

    So here is my story promised in a very abridged format. Please remember the research took place, on and off, for nearly 4 years. It's outcome still brings a lump to my throat and you will read why.

    My elderly uncle (my mother’s brother) had married twice and had a daughter with his first wife. She was of course my cousin, 9 years my junior. After divorce his ex wife re-marries and the daughter has her surname name changed by deed poll. My uncle also re-married and had 5 children (including 3 daughters) with his second wife. Some 50 years later (about 2005) aged 85 –despite a whole heap of grandchildren and great grandchildren with his second wife – he is now frail and suffering Alzheimer’s. But as is often the case still had memory of his first daughter who he had last heard of in the 70’s. He asks if I can help him find her.

    I began with birth names and the changed surname. I found her marriage in 1969 and so had her married surname. I found a son born 1970. I learn from another source (family related and unknown to my uncle) that it was believed the marriage broke up after a few years and she remarried.

    Although I did not realise its importance at the time she had a middle name of Olive. I checked for a new marriage presuming she remarried using her first married surname. I began from 1971 and it was not until 1979 that I found a likely match with a lady who also had the middle initial ‘O’. The marriage took place in Solihull (really outer Birmingham). I found no more births but turned to Electoral rolls (expensive proposition at the time) and lost the trail after the early 1990’s. Purely on a hunch I checked for a third marriage. I reasoned that it would likely be after 1992 and under her second married surname. I found such a person in 1993 with a middle initial of ‘O’ and back in Birmingham. I found them in Electoral Rolls right up to the period of my research.

    I tried for a phone number but this was not made available (likely ex directory) but had a confirmed address with postal code. I was not at all sure I had found the right lady but decided to take a flyer and write to her. My letter began if you are NOT the x Olive born y then this letter is not for you and should be discarded. If you are then read on: I gave chapter and verse of why I was seeking her and pointing out we were cousins who I remembered from family Christmas parties when she was a toddler.

    Two days later in the afternoon she did indeed phone and we spoke for a long time. She told me she was also troubled she had lost contact with her father and was amazed I had been able to follow her trail (perhaps not half as surprised as me). She asked time to consult with her husband and get back to me. I said I would also need to consult my Aunt (my Uncle’s second wife) and likely my cousins – who were of course her cousins. I acted as intermediary for a month or more until I passed everything over to my cousins. After another month of meetings they all agreed it was time to tell their father and arrange for him to meet his lost daughter.

    A grand meeting was arranged just before Christmas 2009 –that’s how long it had taken – and as you can imagine there was great joy all round, and a good many tears. I live in Kent and a fair stride away but was kept in the picture. I had a lump in my throat when my Aunt phoned and said Uncle had something to tell me. He recounted amidst tears that his long lost daughter had visited and I heard –in the background – my Aunt tell him “it was Bobby (as I was known) who had found her”. He paused and said “of course I had forgotten”!

    Uncle died in October 2010 and I met up with my long lost cousin –and other cousins of course – at the funeral. They still keep in touch and I via email.
     
    • Thanks! Thanks! x 3
  2. OnlyMe

    OnlyMe LostCousins Member

    What a wonderful story Bob and well worth all your efforts!! It must have made your Uncle so happy to be reunited with his daughter.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3

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